Giving Tuesday with the Lisses

This post was published to Mommy Book Blog at 10:40:05 AM 11/27/2018

Giving Tuesday with the Lisses

Account    Mommy Book Blog1

This fall season has been marked with getting back into routines and so many ministries we have been working on over the past five years taking form.


The Language Academy of Beirut is something that Annie had been asked to participate in a few years ago, but the logistics did not lend themselves to a realistic plan at the time. It was a dream to have people on staff or internships with Horizons whether in Lebanon or outside of the country, and also for others outside of Horizons to be able to learn Arabic with language helpers here in Lebanon. This would have the benefit of providing jobs to people here, and also allowing us to expand our preparation for incoming staff and interns so that they are not landing in Beirut with no Arabic. Although two years ago was not the right time, doors have been opening and things have been falling into place for Annie to participate now. She wrote a curriculum packet and also has been evaluating the different current staff and interns’ levels to learn how best to place people. Rezan is the first teacher, and so he will soon be leaving our department to work for the Middle East Center for World Mission Language Acquisition Department. Rezan now has something like 13 Arabic classes every week, a full-time schedule of teaching. The next step is to start bringing in other teachers as well to take over our internship classes so that Rezan can focus on his students that are more permanent.


The MEC is a whole world of opportunities for our future as well, and as we continue to replace ourselves, we are folding our ministry into the MEC over time, and Louis hopes to be in a position to take a leadership role in the MEC to train nationals and internationals alike in cross cultural missions. We are dreaming of taking a team of Lebanese to another country on mission trips and transforming our trainings into useful material for Arabs, Asians, Americans, Europeans, and all others who come to the MEC. The MEC has many goals which will fulfill many of our deepest desires, and it is far too soon to even express everything we hope this can be, but we will share more as it becomes even more of a reality. This month we broke ground on our first MEC building purchase, which will serve as a prayer room directly behind our Horizons Café. This new purchase is a big step in moving from a dream to a reality for this center.


The ministry in the Beqaa, which has the largest group of refugees in tents, has also been expanding tremendously. A year ago there were one or two trips out to the Beqaa each week, and now there is a full team going four or five times a week. The team is made up mostly of people on our staff already working in admin or with other ministries who God has called to the Beqaa. Additionally, we have several new staff living in or moving to the Beqaa. Miriam is a Christian who already lives in the Beqaa who just joined Horizons staff, and Annie Ostrander who was our first intern ever, and has been on staff with us for several years now, will be moving out there soon. Additionally, our newest staff member to join us is a nurse who has on her heart to move out there. Finally, our family of five that just moved here will be moving out there in about six months.

New Staff

The staff influx has been tremendous. The stories of how people have found us can only be God! This new family, for instance, the husband, Tommy, was just walking through Beirut and ran into Louis and started talking to him. The nurse, Robbie, is working with another organization and we have been able to form a partnership between our two organizations. It has been an amazing time. Louis and Annie have both been very involved and redefining roles in this new season because onboarding several families and people at a time is much more time commitment than one at a time. Currently there are three more applications at various points in the process, and with both of us looking toward new ministries it has been a challenge.

Annie has taken the lead on the language component of onboarding because of her involvement with the LAB, and Louis with member care and pastoral care because that is his gift. Both of us meet with the new staff once a week for the first month to go through our own onboarding materials and to make sure that everything goes smoothly. This past week, Annie has been taking the Henderson family shopping for electronics for their new apartment. Annie also has on her heart to make sure that we are including the Henderson kids in this process, so she spent an afternoon with the older girls and processed through some of the culture with them and encouraged them. Of everything we have shared, that lifted Annie’s heart the most.

Family Ministry

Additionally, our own kids are being involved more. It seemed with David being at school two hours longer each day this year and having our day broken up by the two different bus pick up times, we would be limited, and it has in some ways, but it hasn’t completely closed us off. David has become much more proactive at school and has really found his footing, so he got the number of a classmate so that we could go over to her house. It was a wonderful playdate, the first time we have hung out with another family that was a school friend only. The visit was amazing, and we will be bringing them to our church’s cookie decorating and puppet show evening in December.

Kyrie has missed going to the café with us, and so we have been working in afternoons that we can all go to the café to practice Arabic and have the kids around for meetings. This has pushed David outside of his comfort zone and allowed her to use Arabic since this year her class is English only. Kyrie is also thrilled that the new family has three girls, and she has been having a lot of fun playing with them. It has helped the girls feel included and befriended after leaving their own friends in America.

We are all going down to Tyre for the first time since we got back to Lebanon this week! Annie has a huge heart for Tyre and since all these doors have been opening in these other ministries, hopefully God will start to show what he is going to do with Tyre, but it seems like it is going to be a family adventure! We can’t wait to share what God shows us. This week we will be going with a staff couple, Caleb and McKenna, and Caleb’s parents who came out for Thanksgiving. It will be a good member care time and also, we always love going to Tyre.

Not to Mention…

This is such a small portion of everything that is going on! Thank you for all your care and love and prayers. If you would like to send us a bit of Christmas, putting it into our account now means we will see it at Christmas time. We have a visitor coming from Tucson this year, which we are very excited about! As we get closer to that time we will let you know if he will have room to bring cards over with him or the like. We are so blessed to see God using us here in Lebanon, and we want you to know that nothing here would be possible without you.

Having a new family here and seeing how their first week has gone so well has brought many tears to Annie’s eyes as we remember the horror that we went through our second day here and into the following months (Month 1, Month 2, and our huge Change of Plans in Month 5) . Our motto has been “We don’t want anyone else to go through what we went through.” And the first week of this Henderson family being here has been the fruit of that. Your prayers have sustained us these past five years, and 6000 more words won’t be enough to express our sincere appreciation.

And then there was this chicken that wandered into our building this week! Oh, Lebanon!

Halfway Point of Our Summer

Time Has Flown By

Time has been going by so fast! The kids & I (Annie) are halfway through our time in America. If you haven’t seen us yet, please don’t hesitate to call or email, our schedule is pretty flexible and open and we want to see as many of you as possible.

I think the halfway point is a good time to share with you what my strategy for fundraising has been and is on this trip.

The idea to come for the summer without Louis was given to me by God when we were here last December and January. That winter trip was all about our family, getting Kyrie’s surgery accomplished, and celebrating her healing. We spent Christmas with our families, and we did not spend much time visiting with the people who support us, and we did not spend any time finding new partners.

Because of that lack of contact, I was inspired to start planning this trip to America around creating and deepening our partnerships. At the same time, I knew that the security training I would be attending would need a great deal of reflection and prayer. Needing a great deal of time to sit quietly and pray seemed at odds with running around to see every person who might be able to give financially or otherwise.

So, I asked God to give me clear directions that I could obey.



The word God gave me was Engage. Engage is the title of Horizons International’s course to teach people how to engage with Muslims. I have always been able to use the training to engage with basically anyone. It has given me a framework to reach out to non-Christians and Christians alike. Therefore, it was easy for me to hear God say I needed to use this framework in Arizona.

Not only do I want to Engage with people here, but to help people Engage with the ministry in Lebanon. There are so many ways to do this, and the first part is just having a relationship with us.

Also, I want to be an encouragement to people here in the States, to share ways that you have all kept us afloat and the joys of new ministries, stable ministries, growing ministries that I see in our communities here. These ministries that we have seen grow while we have been in Lebanon are such an encouragement to us as well.

Isn’t This a Fundraising Trip?

When I ask Kyrie a yes or no question, her answer is usually, “Yes or No”. While it is confusing when she says it, it is the most appropriate answer for me here.

Yes or no.

I am here hoping to be fully funded, but I am not raising money the way we did our first year of fundraising.

The money I am basically leaving in God’s hands. Yes, we are under funded and need to raise our amount in order to stay in Lebanon, but I believe God wants us in Lebanon, and so that part of the ministry will be taken care of by God.

I do not want to make it hard to give us money, however, so CLICK HERE if you would like to start giving monthly, or a one time gift.

Throughout this post I have linked previous articles that relate, so if you see a link, click on it to find out more of the story. Especially for those new to the blog, this is a great way to work your way back through time to connect with us.

If God is leading you to become a financial partner, CLICK HERE to donate through Horizons. There is a drop-down menu to designate funds for Louis Liss.

Annie will be in the States until August 20! Please sign up to meet with her to encourage each other in all that the Lord is doing! CLICK HERE to make an appointment, or reply to the email when you subscribe to our newsletter.

If the appointment page is confusing, I made a walkthrough HERE.

Field Security Initial Thoughts and Debrief


Last week I attended a training in San Diego along with other missionaries working in or headed to places all over the world to share about Jesus Christ.

This training was informational as well as hands on covering all types of situations that may cause a crisis in our various work places.

Of course, you might imagine the need for a training like this with Louis and I working in the Middle East.

Crisis Consulting International ran the training, so if you CLICK HERE you can find out more about it.

I have decided to take this week to process through the training and write up several journal entries before attempting to share my thoughts with the world, but I wanted to share a basic overview and to let you all know I am back in the State of Arizona to start meeting with people and fundraising again. Please CLICK HERE to reserve a time to get together, pray, and hear about what we are doing in Lebanon. You can call or email me as well.

If you have any questions, even specifics about our own security or about the Middle East, please leave a comment or send us an email.

What Did This Training Change About Your Plans?

Being able to do our own Risk Assessments will allow us to expand our mission work wisely. In the past a location we knew had risks was off limits because we felt unequipped to assess those risks. This training helped guide future risk assessment for our own travel within Lebanon.

This training also brought to light the limitations of our knowledge and our organization, Horizons International. Recognizing the essentials that are missing helps us pray and also act on our own behalf within our organization.

How Can You Use This Training Immediately?

My goal of gaining confidence and eloquence was definitely met. Of course I need some time to gather my thoughts about what I just learned before I could give a speech, but I know the direction to go in order to be an advocate for my family.

This week will be full of prayer about problem areas that came up in this training, research on topics and sites that were shared in the training, and drafting letters to the appropriate people in order to get Crisis Management Policies underway.

In travelling, so much of this training is applicable right away, and I am much more confident in future travels.


Did Horizons Send You to This Training?


I was encouraged to attend this training by several other missionaries when we went to MTI back in 2014. When we were put in charge of internships in Beirut, incoming interns’ parents often have asked us what policies are in place in case of an emergency.

Horizons has no such policies.

Therefore, I knew that with or without Horizons’ support, I needed to attend this training in order to protect my own family.

I sent the kids fun pictures throughout the week and am happily back at home with them now, which is why some of the pictures are more silly in nature.

Why Am I A Missionary?

My Call To Be A Missionary

When I was in 4th Grade we did a unit on countries. My teacher gave us a booklet with the most basic information about a country in Africa where they speak Swahili. We learned maybe five words in Swahili, saw where the country was on the map, and learned about food and the safari type land in the area. I obviously didn’t master the material because I don’t remember the country, words, or food.

When it came time to pick our own countries I ended up doing Peru.

Why do I remember the day we learned about that country at all? Because sitting in my seat, holding that grey cardstock booklet, God called me. It was a clear call, and I was so sure of it that I didn’t get excited at all. It was as normal as my teacher saying, “You’re going to need a pencil, so please get one out now.”

Except God didn’t say now.

The call sat like a stone in my stomache for years. I remained as sure of it as in that initial moment, and have never wavered from believing God would accomplish His Call. Along the way I have been annoyed at the timing, confused by the places I have ended up, but I still know that God called me to be a missionary in Africa.

I am not in Africa.

When people come to Lebanon we want to know their expectations, what they hope to get out of the trip, why they feel the need to come. My answer is that God called me. Beyond that I usually can’t think of a reason. I don’t have the attachment to a people group or socioeconomic status or refugees, I only have God’s call sitting firmly inside of me.

Perhaps you are called to women, youth, artists, peers, large groups, small groups, unreached, ill, or battered people. Maybe you aren’t in a position to do what you have been called to do yet. Is there a way to equip yourself for that call where you are right now?

In my years here in Lebanon I have learned so much about loss. How could I have gone to Africa, a continent torn apart by wars, racial divides, and illness without empathy? I did not come to Lebanon with empathy. But now, this past month, I finally celebrated victory in that area. As we have been doing trauma counseling, I am finally learning the precious gift of empathy.

I needed these years of learning empathy and a vast number of other lessons. In addition, God has given me the gift of having the time to raise my children and to learn how to do that in a similar environment to America so that I would have a little less adjustment. I am blessed to be in Lebanon for this season. I am storing up lessons for the calling.

If you want to hear more stories about how Louis and Annie became missionaries, ended up in Lebanon, and what we are doing to help the refugees and Lebanese, please sign up to meet with Annie while she is in the States. This is the perfect time to connect with our ministry and be a part of our story.

How can you dig in where you are right now and get the most out of life?

Fresh Start for Arabic (by Annie)

Starting a New Habit

In planning goals for the year, several were written with the purpose of beginning them after our first visa trip. This gave me several months to focus on living life in Lebanon and being a mom. We just returned from our first visa trip for 2016, and I am taking the refreshment and rejuvenation and harnessing it into my word of the year: Discipline. I am not going to lose momentum, so even though I came back from London with an airplane cold I have started studying Arabic for 1 hour every day.

Learning the Language

I want to speak Arabic. When we attended MTI in 2014 we knew that we needed to have some serious internal motivators because there are so many ways to get away with not speaking Arabic here. Many missionaries who come never learn Arabic. However, we were called to come here and love the people as Jesus would. God knows my language and he knows their language, and I am going to learn the language. There are many challenges, and as I walk this language learning journey I hope to share some of them. However, the biggest challenge, and the one I am overcoming this week is ME.

This is not a goal that others are going to be pushing me to complete. If I don’t pay attention to the lesson or follow through, no one is going to be upset. Everyone in my life is encouraging and understanding and giving me grace. So it is up to me to be internally motivated. To remember the purpose of learning the heart language of these people.

I have to move from WANTING to learn Arabic to NEEDING to learn Arabic.

Baby Steps

The second battle within myself is that Louis is so far ahead of me. He is at a Conversational level and I am not even at a Survival level of Arabic yet. It is hard every time I study to realize how little I know. In spending time staring at how far ahead Louis is, I have not moved forward. It is time to Just Start. Learning a Language is much like Losing Weight. I know what to do, diet and exercise, so I have to do that, and then stay off the scale. Stop measuring and judging, just do the steps day by day.

Self Study

To start taking steps I took a critical look at my life for just the month of May and wrote a plan. I am going to study on my own for May. My main method of studying will be the Pimsleur Eastern Arabic course which I have been successfully following through with each day since returning from London.

The second aspect to the plan is that it is the 3rd thing to happen EVERY DAY.

  1. Wake up = (Get Dressed for the Day, Breakfast with Davy, Coffee)
  2. Memverse
  3. Arabic

This way there is no excuse, and it gets done every day.

Future Outlook


This blog is how I keep accountable for a lot of my goals, and to keep me reflective, so that I can see progress instead of beating myself up. Therefore, I will be adding Arabic to my weekly goals. We have our first interns coming tomorrow, and I will be completing the language assignments Louis gives them as well.


By June I would like to have 2 language helpers.


In July I will be calling our language teacher as well to see if she will have any openings once Davy starts school.


Review the plan and revamp based on Davy starting school in September.


The Update You’ve All Been Waiting For

    I will get right to the point and then share some personal thoughts afterwards so that you are not bound any longer by suspense. We had the consultation with the urologist for Kyrie. He agreed that the surgery is necessary, but due to the specific equipment needed and his availability:

The surgery has been scheduled for August 27th.

    I will try to anticipate all the follow up questions, but if after reading this you have more, please reply or comment. We really do want to let you know as much as possible to inform your prayers.

Is it possible to get in for the surgery sooner?

    Yes, we are the first on the cancellation list. There were quite a few recent cancellations, which means two things: 1) Cancellations happen a lot. 2) The upcoming appointments that had cancellations have been filled. Therefore, we have a little bit of time to wait.

What does this mean for plane tickets?

    We are waiting to purchase plane tickets for Kyrie and I until we have a more secure date. We want to do this right and we don’t want to purchase plane tickets until she has had her follow up visit and is cleared to leave the country by the doctor. There are options for purchasing cancelable tickets, but we are still exploring all of the options available and discussing it with our organization to determine the best plan for all of us. Louis and Davy have to leave Lebanon by August 18 for a visa trip, so those tickets are the first on our list of decisions.

What would be your estimated departure date based on this surgery date?

    From our internet research we have determined that the follow up visit is usually 2 weeks after the surgery. This would mean we could possibly leave sometime after the second week in September.

What are you going to do in this extended period of time here?

    So much of the past few weeks has been a period of waiting for this appointment that I really just feel that runner’s instinct in me, so I took the adrenaline and packed mostly everything we are planning on taking to Lebanon into my mom’s car and we came back up to Mesa. I am going to spend the next two weeks up here and we are going to pack all the items that are not clothes so that my bags are all ready at a moment’s notice. When the surgery happens and the follow up we want to be able to leave ASAP, so we are going to be ready. I have a few activities that I am looking to put on my calendar, but I want to live in this season and find the reason God has me here every day. I am keeping myself with people, and will be working on building routines that will help me thrive in this difficult time. I will gladly get coffee with people who would like to see Kyrie and I. I will also gladly let you watch her for an afternoon so I can go clothes shopping or something. In this time I want to allow people to help out instead of pretending I can continue to do it all on my own. I am being brave, but I am also very sad to be in this season. I hope to post a blog post on my Mommy Book Blog soon about what this season is meaning to me.

How are Davy and Louis doing?

    We are all very very sad, and the day after finding out about this Louis and I were depressed. Davy has been having panic attacks and night terrors, so is in need of prayer and love. They are keeping busy and building routines. I have begun recording the Bible chapters I am reading onto mp3 files for Louis to play Davy at night. We are also going to be picking more consistent Skype times so that Davy and Mommy can have some time together to read books, tell stories, and play. Davy gets to play with kids every time they go to the center, and the team we just had visit for a Vision Trip really got along well with Davy. This Saturday we have our first VBS team coming and I think that will be an exciting thing for Davy to attend as well.

This Friday Louis will be fasting and praying for discernment on which of the multiple options ahead are God’s plan for our family.

Please join with us in prayer for the many decisions ahead.

Lisses in Colorado

For those of you closely following our itinerary, yes we made it safely to Colorado. We encountered very little ice, and we behaved like responsible adults driving during the day and sleeping in hotels at night. We took the drive up to be our only vacation on this two month trip so we went back to our favorite place, Bryce Canyon, and also got to experience several beautiful parks as we drove up the scenic byway 12 in Utah. We needed the family time and the break.

If you are missing us again already, just remember that we have all of our upcoming events posted for you. If you are in Phoenix and haven’t even gotten a chance to see us yet, your chance is coming. November 25th, next week, we have a dinner being held for us at Christ’s Community Church in Glendale. Please RSVP Kathy Twitchell at if you would like to attend this dinner. Thank you for your prayers for our travels, and be looking forward to pictures of both our trip and the first ultrasound very soon. (Since it is Annie writing the post and Louis is in charge of pictures, you will have to wait one more day, but it will be worth it in the end.)

We love you all so much! Thank you for being a part of our lives and for caring about us in so many ways.

Going “Home”

    Louis spent most of the month of October filling in for a pastor here in Lebanon at a Filipino church. He began his sermon series with a story about Davy. When we are out and about, shopping, at church, at the ministry center, or anywhere, and we are done for the day we turn to Davy and say, “Davy, let’s go home.” And Davy will be excited and reply, “Go home!” Sometimes even with a “Yeah!” which is super adorable from our almost 2-year-old. Then we arrive back to our apartment and it is a 50-50 chance that one of these two things will happen. He will at some point recognize our building and say, “Home!” OR Davy will come inside with and look around with a somewhat disappointed and sad expression and say, “Go home,” meaning we didn’t end up at the right home. What does home mean to him, we wonder? What does it mean to us?

There is a beautiful story told by many Christians of walking into a church for a service and by the end feeling that they have found “home.” I have such a heart for that in a church, the ability to welcome and love someone so instantaneously. I have never once walked into a church and had that feeling, but I hope that each person reading this takes the time to welcome new faces, to show love to those sitting in the services, events, meals, etc. so that we are home to as many as walk in our churches’ doors.

In the same way that I have never felt that a church had that “I’m home!” experience for me, when my parents moved our family to a new house when my siblings and I were young, I distinctly thought that it did not become my home. But the other house hadn’t felt like home. Everywhere it seemed was temporary. In college I felt that the NAU campus was the closest I came to a home, but going back there does not make me feel like a homecoming.

So, as I reflect on this homesickness I have, I hope that Davy also remains sad that this is not quite HOME. Because this earth is not quite home. There are tastes that people get, like that of walking into church, and for me the community of believers I had around me all the time at NAU. I hope that Davy always longs for the home that we have only tasted and imagined and dreamed about. And I pray that the people we love will be there. So, we must keep telling everyone about the hope found in Jesus Christ so that our friends and family here on earth will be our sisters and brothers in Heaven.

Tonight I am feeling this homesickness much more distinctly because as we attended the Filipino church today, Davy knew people’s names, and he played with the women without needing to see if we were still there, and he talked to them, and I was sad that we would be here only one more Sunday because this is our family. And I was sad that we will not be attending our Lebanese church who also has our family. And even in planning our many Sundays hopping around to different churches to share about what God is doing here in Lebanon and to grow our partnerships of spiritual and physical support, we will not be able to see all of our family every day. That is the dream. Every day getting to see our whole family, being able to worship and praise our Lord and Creator all together, not thousands of miles apart from pieces of our family, our body in Christ. And it does feel more and more like we are a body with parts all over, and the separation is painful.

So tonight, with 11 days left in Lebanon, I grieve the loss of new family members while I celebrate those I will get to see in Arizona, Utah, and Colorado. At our training back in April there was a very important life lesson that we repeat many times a month to one another:

I pray that when you leave here it hurts.

Because that means you were loved, and you loved well.

And it hurts. It hurts to do what we do. But what better joy is there for us as believers than to see the men and women who we are discipling and evangelizing in heaven? And you will get to heaven and will meet men and women who by your prayers and support of us here in Lebanon have come to Christ.


Mr. Feelings: AKA The 2 Month Review of Life in Lebanon

Today we wanted to share a graphic with you that was a great visual for us in our training in April. This visual was made even more absorbing by being acted out in front of us. So, imagine Mr. Feelings: Louis in this case, but it could me, or any person, you even! Standing in the middle with a rope wrapped around his middle being pulled back and forth between the two ducks. That is how paradox can make us feel, pulled back and forth. Sometimes we lean toward Yay Duck, and sometimes we lean toward Yuck Duck times. We already shared with you about the Yay Duck vs. Yuck Duck, living in paradoxes. We continue to share about paradoxes as they come up. And we hope that it has helped you to be more empathetic, and also able to find joy in the hard times using this example.

For other Paradox blog posts CLICK HERE.


Next up is Reality vs. Expectations. This can be challenging. When our expectations are far from the reality, the rope is pulled very tight against us. When there is a “twang”, a snapping of the rope, it can really hurt. But as our expectations move toward reality, the slack that grows makes the “twangs” hurt a lot less. So one goal is to keep our expectations as close to the reality as possible. Here are some of the Twangs of life in Lebanon so far:

  1. Expectation = We will find language helpers and be able to work with someone on language every day.

    Reality = 1 Arabic teacher 3 times a week

    TWANG!!!    If we clung to the every day goal like we did at first, we would not be able to recognize the extreme blessing that our language teacher is. In addition, because we did not find other language helpers yet, Louis and I have been able to adjust to life here without overpacking our schedules. Our language learning is at an Intensive level with 6 hrs. per week of class, and while we still hope to find language helpers to practice more intentionally with in the future, we are pleased with our life now and have stepped our Expectations over toward Reality. The reality of our situation is that there are only three people on our team who speak English well enough to help us at this point, but they are already overworked and do not have the time. As we continue to live here we hope to find friends with good English and free time to have conversation dates. Also, we are now at a Survival Level of Arabic, and so are very pleased with our class as it is now.

  2. Expectation = We will be in Lebanon for 6 months, then we will fly back to the States to finish fundraising.

    Reality = Until Horizons is a registered organization here we are only on tourist visas which expire after three months.

    TWANG!!!    Due to the last traveling ending with David in the hospital I have been terrified of traveling with him again. I thought after 6 months maybe I would be over it, and to find that I have to take him at the end of THIS MONTH to another country was very overwhelming. But now I am excited about our mini vacation to Cyprus, an island the apostle Paul was on with Barnabus. We are going to have a beach day, an IKEA shopping day, and then come back home to Lebanon. The next three month trip should end at the time our flight goes back to America, and then we will be in Arizona until we can raise our funds.

  3. Expectation = We will get used to the noise.

    Reality = Nope!

    TWANG!!!    Our apartment is right above a very busy street, and when we first moved in the whole apartment echoed due to being completely empty and with only tile. In Phoenix we had lived next to a busy street, so I figured we would eventually tune it out, and as we got furniture the echoing went away for the most part. But as the World Cup happened there were fireworks every time someone scored, and then last night was a holiday for the Saint Elias (Elijah) which had unending fireworks for several hours….We are still adjusting our expectations on this one.


    I am sure many of you have experienced these same types of Twangs in your own lives. There are other examples as well, and we will continue to adjust our expectations toward reality in many areas. However, (here is a paradox for you) sometimes we must have higher expectations than the reality, and there will be many twangs as we do ministry. An example of this is that we see many needs at the center that we hope to help fill, and our continuing to have high expectations for them will eventually help us accomplish many amazing things for God here.


    One of our expectations is that people who are coming to visit the center from America are not having a good experience. This is ridiculous since there is so much amazing going on! There are salvations, healings, and religious freedom here. Louis really needs to write up some of these amazing stories for you guys! In any case, we are now in charge of helping these foreigners have a good experience and be better utilized at the refugee center, so our high expectations, and the Twangs that we were bringing up with Pierre brought about an excellent change! Yay God!!! There is more to this graphic, so stay tuned for a later update on Mr. Feelings and his family! We love you guys!!!

2nd Day Trauma

Matthew 5-4Louis and I fully intended on writing up a humorous account of our frustrating travels to Rome and then Lebanon. One of our underlying themes throughout the MTI training was to live in paradox, and we will still post both of our accounts written through that lens. However, we need to take the time now to debrief with you a different lesson. Grieving & Loss. We knew we would be missing home and friends and family. We knew we needed to take time to grieve these losses in order to recover and move forward in our new lives here. We learned a lot about the things we were already grieving when we went to Colorado. We saw that we are prone to deny or avoid these pains, but that does not help us grow and will stunt our maturity and adjustment to a new country.

In conclusion, we came to Lebanon prepared to grieve and knew that the first month would be our time to do that in.

What we were in no way prepared for was what happened on Day 2 of being in Lebanon.

We arrived in Lebanon 4:30 pm on Thursday the 8th of May. We were staying with Pierre and Gigi, our team leader and his wife. Davy got sick Friday morning, our first morning in Lebanon. 6am he woke us up by throwing up all over us. He ate very little throughout the day and that night threw up his entire dinner. All night he would throw up anything he drank. In the morning I felt scared being in this strange country with a sick baby. I didn’t know why he was throwing up and while he slept hot during the night, he did not seem feverish. We decided to take all of our luggage to our new apartment, pick up the mattress for Louis and I and then leave Davy and I at home to try to hydrate him and rest so he could get better.

This plan progressed only as far as the mattress store. We put Davey on Louis’ shoulders and were joking around when Davey asked for water. Having thrown up everything for the past two days we asked him to wait until we left the store and then 30 seconds later he fell limp down Louis’ back. We immediately took him down off of Louis and he was unresponsive. His eyes rolled back in his head and he began to foam at the mouth. His arms tensed and shook and then went limp. We ran outside and sat on the ground with him  yelling and shaking him with no response and his lips turning blue.

A worker at the mattress store screamed for Louis to come with him. He jumped in the car and I followed with Pierre driving his car. I found out later that Davy stopped breathing in the car and Louis did CPR the entire fast paced, manic drive to the hospital. Just as they arrived at the hospital Davy began breathing again but was still unconscious. They took him in and took his vitals which had begun to return to normal right before making us leave to go to a hospital with a pediatric unit. We drove continuing to pray until Davey began to cry. The sound of his crying has been one of the most anxiety raising sounds in my life until that moment. I was so relieved and we all started crying. We brought him in to the emergency room where they performed a CAT scan and took blood work before hooking him up to an IV. Six hours later he was diagnosed as having experienced a seizure brought on by extreme dehydration and acidosis compounded by every other stress experienced in the previous five days. We took him home and cried for the rest of the night as he slept quietly between us in the intervals between us waking him up to drink.

David has made a full recovery.

In our training we discussed many categories of loss that would be unavoidable on the mission field. Several have hurt exponentially worse through this traumatic experience.

  1. The loss of “home”. The loss of the familiar makes this trauma even harder because of all the little things we did not have in place yet being only the second day we were here. We didn’t know where hospitals were, and didn’t have phones or internet to tell anyone outside of Pierre what was happening. We had an empty apartment with only mattresses to bring our still sick baby home to when we left the hospital. We still feel vulnerable and dependent.
  2. The loss of our support system. Not having the people we usually could run to even aware until days later was terrible for us. We couldn’t even send out an urgent “Please Pray!” email. We know that we cannot rely on your support the same way we have had it in the past, but we are feeling it painfully right now.
  3. Of course the largest loss experienced through this was the continued loss of safety. Already we knew the worry of so many followed us that we would not be safe. We knew that there was no more safety in Arizona than in Lebanon, but this has been an acute suffering. We were already prepared to struggle through the first few months deciding what are safe choices for Davy (food, drink, play, etc.). This experience concentrated the loss of safety, and has left us lonely because we fear the “I told you so” that will come from people back in America.

Make sadness your ally. God’s solution for solving these losses is sadness. Rather than something to be avoided, the sadness and grief allows you to let go of what you cannot have in order to make room in your heart for what you can have. It is important to feel safe to grieve. (Paraphrased from Hiding From Love by John Townsend) We have carved out this time to make less decisions and do less so we can take even more time to grieve, and to grieve well.

Please know that all the pain and feelings you are feeling are valid. We want you to feel the grieving along with us rather than try to minimize it. Grieve Well.

1st_peter_5 10-166635